Back on snow, Merryweather feels whole for the first time in years

Jacqueline Wiles and Alice Merryweather back on snow in Mammoth: Photo U.S. Ski & Snowboard

It’s been three years since Alice Merryweather entered a start gate. Overcoming an eating disorder and then a broken leg, in some ways, the 26-year-old’s hiatus from the sport feels like a sort of coma. However, she has recently fully awoken and feels transformed and evolved, physically and mentally.  

“Time kind of froze for a while,” says the Stifel U.S. Ski Team speed specialist. “I feel like I’ve grown immensely as a human being.”

The last time Merryweather entered a start house was at the La Thuile World Cup downhill in February 2020. Then the pandemic hit and ended the season early. The Dartmouth student was dealing with her demons as the world shut down. She began struggling with a severe eating disorder that eroded her confidence, weakened her physically, and severed  her social ties. By November,  she had lost 25 pounds.

Rather than compete in that 2020-21 season, Merryweather entered a partial hospitalization treatment program for several months. By the spring of 2021, she had mainly moved beyond the vice-like grip of the eating disorder. She rejoined the U.S. Ski Team for spring and summer camps.

Long hiatus

However, back on snow at a camp in Switzerland in September 2021, Merryweather suffered a high-speed crash in downhill training. She tore the knee ligaments (MCL and ACL) and meniscus in her left leg and sustained a compound tibia fracture.

Once again, Merryweather took the entire season off. She was on crutches for several weeks and continued pursuing a degree in Government Studies at Dartmouth. She was cleared to free ski in February and rejoined the U.S. Speed Team at a training camp in Mammoth, Calif., this spring.

“I did a GS progression, even got into a couple of super-G gates. It’s as close to normal as I could hope for,” she says. “There’s definitely more refamiliarization that needs to happen. Walking in ski boots is really uncomfortable, where [the leg] broke near the top of the boot. The muscles worked back into ski shape and scar tissue broke up in the first few days. At the end of camp, it was feeling solid. I slowly got used to the sensation of skiing again. I wouldn’t say it felt totally normal, but it felt pretty dang good compared to this time last year. I was pleasantly surprised with how confident I felt. I don’t doubt my leg at all. I feel it will hold up and do what I want it to.”

Losing the ED voice

Regarding strength, the most pronounced transformation Merryweather has experienced recently is her mental health.

“I’ve noticed a big change in the last five months where my mental health feels like it has totally switched to a place I haven’t been in five or six years,” she says. “I just feel very complete again. I’m barely hearing the eating disorder voice at all.  That’s been a part of my brain for so long. It’s crazy to feel like I don’t have to wake up and go to battle. That’s been a pleasant surprise.”

Once established in the brain, the influence of the eating disorder has been challenging to quell entirely. In addition to working hard to recover from her injuries, Merryweather relentlessly practiced strategic self-talk to bring her inner monologue to a safer and healthier place.

“It had finally been long enough,” she says. “I’d been tirelessly working to instill habits where I was better to myself mentally, shutting out that voice whenever I could. It finally became so automatic that a lot of those unhealthy tendencies went away.”

Conquering one physical hurdle after another and moving beyond physical limitations during her injury recovery also helped.

“Being able to suddenly do everything I wanted to physically, like if I want to go for a run, I can do that. If I want to jump, I can do that … little things I knew I could do; it was freeing. Also, skiing again was a major milestone,” she says.

A bright season awaits

Merryweather is hoping for more time on snow in Mammoth or Mount Hood in July as she spends her summer in Park City doing conditioning with the team. She’ll head to Argentina for training in August and join the World Cup speed team in Chile in October. Her return to racing will probably not be immediate, perhaps starting with a Nor-Am or Europa Cup before hopefully rejoining the World Cup at the downhill and super-G races in St. Moritz this December.

“I’m so excited to start racing again,” Merryweather says. “I’m probably getting a little ahead of myself. I don’t feel I’m near skiing to a point I want to be at, but I’m looking forward to getting in a start gate, getting those stage jitters and getting back into the arena as a competitor. I’ve missed that sensation so much over the last few years. It’s going to feel amazing to be back.”