For Valentine’s Day: Advice for the Lovelorn Skier.

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. And like everyone else, skiers have relationship problems. Oddly enough, some of them actually turn to me for advice. So to the best of my ability, I’ve tried to provide good answers to some fairly knotty issues. Take a look and see what you think.

Dear Ski Diva —
I’ve been dating a terrific guy (I’ll call him Josh), and until recently, things have been going great. Josh and I share a lot of the same interests. We both love to eat oatmeal, walk barefoot on gravel roads, and collect vintage Tupperware containers. Even better, we both share a passion for skiing. The problem is that Josh has the EPIC pass and I’m strictly IKON. Our discussions about where to ski are escalating into arguments. Last night, after an especially heated exchange, Josh had his evening bowl of oatmeal without me. I was devastated! What should I do?
Sincerely,
Heartsick in Denver

Dear Heartsick in Denver —
Don’t despair. Mixed relationships can work if you’ll only compromise. There are lots of great indy resorts where you both can ski. If that doesn’t work, you can always take separate trips. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
All the Best,
Ski Diva

Dear Ski Diva —
I met this cute guy lately, but there’s a fly in the ointment: he’s a snowboarder. I’m conflicted. I only ski at Alta in Utah; no boarders allowed. What can we do?
Hugs,
Altaholic

Dear Altaholic —
A boarder? Maybe it’s time you looked at the whole picture. Have you checked out his living arrangements? Is he living in his car or in his Mom’s basement? Does he have a job? How’s his wardrobe? Sure, these are stereotypes, and we’d do best to avoid them. But if he still looks good to you,  maybe it’s time for a resort change. There are plenty of places that’d welcome you both. Or you could sign him up for ski lessons.
All the Best,
Ski Diva

Dear Ski Diva —
My boyfriend has a thing for Lindsey Vonn and is constantly comparing me to her. Not only don’t I ski like her, but I’m petite, thin, and have short dark hair. It’s gotten to the point where he calls me Lindsey in bed and wants me grow out my hair and start race training — which I don’t want to do. Any advice?
Signed,
Don’t Wanna Be Lindsey

Dear Don’t Wanna Be Lindsey —
This is just plain weird, but I can see how that’d hurt. She’s gorgeous, talented, and makes gobs of money. Still, you need to get him to appreciate you for you. Or you could just start calling him Bode and see how he likes it.
All the Best,
Ski Diva

Dear Ski Diva —
I’ve been attracted to a ski instructor at my home mountain since the beginning of the season. He’s great looking and a terrific skier, and I’ve always gone for men in uniform. I’ve requested him multiple times for private lessons, but getting to know him this way is becoming expensive. Can you suggest a way that I could give him some private lessons of my own?
Thanks,
Fast Learner

Dear Fast Learner —
What are you learning? Is he looking at you with desire when he talks about bumps and smear turns? If not, then this isn’t the worst problem to have. Lessons are valuable for everyone, and even if things don’t work out, consider how much this is doing for your skiing. Nonetheless, if private lessons are getting too pricey, you could notch it down to group. Or you might just invite him out for a beer. That’d be a lot cheaper.
All the Best,
Ski Diva

Dear Ski Diva —
My boyfriend is obsessed with his skier app. He has to log in so many runs, so much vert, so many lift rides. I could give a rat’s ass. As long as I’m out there having fun, I’m happy. But the need to reach a certain number has added some stress to our ski days. Sometimes I just want to quit early and sit in the bar. What should I do?
Love,
Early Bird

Dear Early Bird —
Quit early and sit in the bar. Maybe you’ll meet someone who’ll be obsessed wth you.
All the Best,
Ski Diva